For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice
but rather of power and love and self-control.
So do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord. 2Timothy 1:7-8
Paul exhorts Timothy to not be ashamed of his testimony to the Lord. I was reminded of this myself. When I first saw the Lord on the host, and all that I needed to go through. How people reacted, was to say the least, daunting. I got to the point where I was ashamed to speak about it. And that included my family. When they couldn't wait to walk away. Those were the times I felt as if I was evil. People couldn't wait to leave. And all I could do was smile. As I look back on it now, I was a transformation. I was no longer my self, but a part of God. His impact was so strong, all I could do was eat, breathe, sleep, God. Did it hurt, that people didn't want me near, Yes. I didn't give up, I was filled with so much joy, I wasn't afraid. What I feared was peoples reactions. There was no one who could explain to me what was happening. I had to grow. I am not ashamed of my Love for God. It is only people who cause others to be ashamed. It took me a lot to understand that, and to reveal my deepest sorrow. Just like those who came before us, who have been imprisoned for the sake of the Lord. This was my prison, and I am free. I shout to the world God I Love You for the world knows not your love.